09.19.07
Posted in Family Legends
at 10:21 am
I went to a beautiful engagement party recently where the father of the groom stood up and made a lovely tribute to the couple and their extended families. He included many touching details including the thought that he appreciated that as his wife had moved from the protection of her father’s house to his house in the seventies, his soon-to-be-daughter-in-law would move from the protection of her father’s house to his son’s. (Aside from the modest catcall that the groom might need protection from his red-headed wife, everyone smiled happily and bought in.)
No one thought too hard about the five years after high school graduation when the bride went to college in New York City (where she met her finance). All the youngsters no doubt left with the vague impression that their aunt or uncle were virtuously observing their religious upbringing and everyone was happy.
 Our family legends were somewhat different. On my father’s side we had my father as chief legend spinner. He had rather an aggressive sense of humor and had no trouble telling his children things like his grandfather had been the son in a wealthy family and had run off with the maid. I remembered hazy details about the family going to Italy to have my grandfather and readopting hiim back into the family. All these stories of life in the old world made perfect sense to his American-born children. After my father’s death I talked about the story to my aunt – the oldest sibling, with presumably the best grasp of family history. She was horrified. The family came from a long line of solidly middleclass shopkeepers and she had the pictures to prove it. So a legend bit the dust.
A few legends were social fictions – I learned when young that my grandfather had died of his war wounds – only when I was well into my forties did I learn that he had died in the ’50s after having served in WWI. The injury to his leg was a much more palatable explanation than the prostate cancer that was the more proximate cause of death. Fortuantely my aunt chose to debunk this legend and broach the taboo after her husband also succumbed to prostate cancer. Despite the mortification she felt (& she did) she was more concerned that my brothers and son know their family medical history and therefore survive the family ‘curse.’
I treasure these legends – real and created. Now all I have to do is remember to pass them down.
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09.18.07
Posted in Running A Non-profit Auction
at 11:31 am
Most charity auctions are events that can be extremely wearing on volunteers but are worth it because they raise large amounts of cash. Most does not mean all.
I was recently (6 weeks before the event) asked to help with an event for an extremely worthy charity. They knew they didn’t quite have it down because last year they never collected the payments for the items that were auctioned. As I listened to their tale of woe it became clear that they had unconsciously assumed the massive goodwill they had would help them glide over any of their failures in running an event.
Lesson 1 – People who care about your cause enough to shell out a significant amount for a lunch or dinner will not give you infinite slack.Â
Item winners at the ill-fated auction were not clear on which basket they won and many apparently took the wrong basket. This was exacerbated because some winners took the correct basket, on closer inspection decided it was not really what they wanted, and took another. Those going home with the ‘wrong’ basket refused to pay when contacted later.
Lesson 2 Clarity is Key – Descriptions must be clear and bid sheets must be clearly tied to an item. Even if you deliver the basket won and immediately collect for a poorly presented item, the bad will created is awful.
At another auction I helped a friend with, the descriptions for vacation homes were confusing. In most cases people just moved on to items they could figure out and didn’t bid. In one case, several active bidders were under the impression that they were bidding on the house for a prime season period. In reality, and accurately stated, the house was for the off-season. Saying that the house was available from Labor Day to Memorial Day was too close in wording to a summer rental from Memorial to Labor Day. Switching to actual date availability and playing up the use of the house for a special Thanksgiving retreat for an extended family made it much more popular.
Lesson 3 – Process is Key – Find a compulsive person to run the administrative chores during the event. This person (and their team) needs to have in mind how the auction will end, how items will be billed, how items will be delivered to the winner, how payment will be collected and how unsold items will be handled.
Auctions don’t have to be nightmares. Keep on track and plan to have a very successful event.
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09.13.07
Posted in Just A Thought, Uncategorized
at 12:15 pm
Last year we followed our long term plan for our kids’ education – our eldest graduated from her private school and we moved her to the very-highly-rated local high school. We knew of mutterings that No Child Left Behind was evil – stifling the creative brilliance of our teachers and making them teach a uniform curriculum.Â
Not a problem we thought – eldest’s strengths are diligent work on whatever she’s asked to do (not an iota more), careful attention to presenting herself in the most attractive manner possible (much more important to later job success than technical brilliance, much to my chagrin) and the ability to organize affairs for community service or social events. Since she is not struck by the mad curiosity of middle child, a standard curriculum would not be problematic.
Little did we know. School rankings (an issue of paramount concern for keeping parents happy and property values high) are based on how well a group does when tested. Duh.Â
The test taken depends on which group you are enrolled in. If you are enrolled in a AP (advanced placement) course it does not matter that your 4 out of 5 is 80% on an exam that is much harder than the normal exam; the school gets a higher ranking if you get 100% on the easier course. A bored student, or one not taught to their full capacity does not penalized the school in the rankings.Â
It is completely to a school’s advantage to push children into the easiest course when they are borderline between two levels (start algebra late, honors vs. standard courses, and the gold standard – AP courses.) If your school is not allowing open enrollment into AP courses the welfare of the student may not be their first concern and may be a sign all the way down the line that they are making choices that are for their benefit rather than the child’s.
Eldest child? We moved her to a school that thinks most children are capable of honors work and she chugs along with a solid B. It’s the same B she would have garnered in the standard courses of the top ranked public school but she works a little harder.
We’re failing the global education race. Is it unreasonable to ask that not only should all children be educated to a minimal level but that all children be pushed to their maximum level?
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09.12.07
Posted in Abrupt Climate Change
at 11:40 am
I’ve long thought that using modern-day victory gardensto counter food shortages from abrupt climate change events or other crises, would run full-tilt into a wall of ignorance that just didn’t exist in the early 20th century. A courageous idiot from Brooklyn decided to prove my point. As he reported in New York Magazine, Manny Howard decided in March to build and live off a backyard farm for the month of August.
His experiment wasn’t completely in line with a real effort to stave off starvation in a crisis. In a very small area (800 sq ft.) he decided against going vegan and elected to raise livestock in addition to his crops. He also invested significant time, money and effort in preparing his farm – including extensive drainage work and soil replacement. While completely consistent with his goal of eating local produce, remaking the backyard probably wouldn’t be an option when everyone else is trying to do it too.
His problems ranged from livestock too old to produce, seedlings that died right before planting (can I relate to that one), to a tornado taking out part of his farm a week before he was scheduled to live off its produce. These problems can be expected to be widespread if there is an emergency need for victory gardens.
Those adventurous souls willing to raise livestock will need to contend with suppliers being offered large amounts of money for breeders by people who have no idea what they are buying. If you think shady sales don’t happen routinely now, you haven’t listened to children’s stories of how the hamster they bought at the pet shop died after a couple months from what the vet diagnosed as old age. (Old breeders are not retired to green pastures. Read Black Beauty.)
Nature wiping out significant portions of home vegetable plots is not at all unreasonable if abrupt climate change is behind the crises. Even neglecting to throw a sheet over a tender vegetable patch when there is an early frost can shorten the growing season needlessly for novice gardeners.
So why, when Manny was doing what I recommended (more or less), did I call him an idiot? In persuing his goal of self-sufficient dining he almost torpedoed his marriage. In future I hope he enjoys the produce from his garden on a less intense basis and remembers to plant some flowers for his wife.
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